In The End
by Breathe Artistic
Summary: This is a songfic I wrote to In The End by Linkin Park. It's sort of a writing outlet I used to express something that is really happening to me. It's about Shane Helms so please RR!


I've always had a...crush I guess on him...I've watched him from afar always wondering what it would be like to be with him...be the one he loved. Watching him and everything he did, I'd memorized how he looked. His long dark hair, puppy dog brown eyes, tender smile, and soft voice, laced with a sweet southern accent. I've tried my hardest to tell him how I feel about him...but nothing seems to work...

__

'(It starts with)  
One thing / I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme  
To explain in due time  


I've tried talking to him...and I can do that...but somehow the subject of 'relationships' always comes up between the two of us. We joke around about both of us being single...but inside...he has no clue of the longing I feel for him. I can talk to him as if he were my friend...which he is...but thinking about even the possibility of becoming his girlfriend makes me tremble. Sometimes I'll just sit, staring off into space thinking about him...

" Britt."

" Huh?"

" Hey Babe, what's up? You okay?"

" I'm fine Shane...just thinking that's all."

" You sure? You look kinda upset?" He asked.

" I'm sure, I'm okay." I said.

" Alright," Shane said. " Get ready sidekick! We've got a match soon!"

I smiled as he walked away...if only he knew...

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All I know  
time is a valuable thing  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
The clock ticks life away  
It's so unreal  
Didn't look out below  
Watch the time go right out the window  
Trying to hold on / but didn't even know  
Wasted it all just to  
Watch you go  


Time had been flying by...days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months...and soon...those months had turned into a year. An entire year of my infatuation with Shane Helms and not getting anywhere. I've gotten so close one time...but still I got nothing...we'd been talking one day and I almost let it slip...

" So...what's up Britt, you've been really quite lately." Shane said.

" Oh nothing, I've just been doing a lot of thinking lately that's all." I replied.

" About what?"

" Stuff...life...re...uh...people."

" Re uh people? I don't think I've ever heard of that." Shane laughed.

" No, no, just people." I said.

" You sure?"

" Uh-huh," I nodded. " I'm just thinking about someone...someone I like a lot."

" OH! A crush perhaps?" Shane implied.

" Maybe."

" Come on baby doll, you can tell me."

" No...I can't...not this time Shane." I said.

" You sure Brittany?"

" Very."

" Okay."

__

I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart  
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried  
so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
To lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter

Time went by again, I kept everything to myself about Shane...and I've talked to him so many times. I think he's beginning to catch on that I am hiding something from him. He looks at me with that certain look in his eyes like he knows that I'm not telling him the entire truth. Every time we talk he brings up the subject of a girlfriend or a boyfriend...obviously trying to get me to talk about it. I've tried to tell him but when I get so close everything falls apart and I get so tongue tied and nervous...and I just can't get the right words out. I know that Shane knows something...and he's not telling me exactly WHAT it is he knows. Maybe he's finally catching on to the clues I've been dropping...or at least I hope he is.

__

One thing / I don't know why  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme  
To remind myself how  
I tried so hard  
In spite of the way you were mocking me  
Acting like I was part of your property  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
I'm surprised it got so (far)  
Things aren't the way they were before  
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore  
Not that you knew me back then  
But it all comes back to me  
In the end  


Over the past few weeks....Shane and I have gotten into a few little fights here and there...I've said things to make him mad...he's constantly accusing me of hiding things from him...and us being friends...we shouldn't do that. Constant fighting between Shane and I was tearing me apart...I just couldn't bring myself to say anything too mean to him for all the love I secretly felt for him that he hadn't a clue about. I can't stand us fighting so much, and he's constantly asking if I'm alright. I know he means well but...I can't stand being bugged so much about one thing. Ah, one of the annoying quirks I love about Shane. He's said I've changed so much...and admittedly I have. I've drowned my sorrows about him in a binge of all black clothing and an anti-social attitude to everyone around me. I've heard Shane say countless times 'You're not the Brittany you used to be.' And even now HE'S avoiding me. He's told me that he doesn't know me anymore...maybe he never truly knew me to begin with.

__

You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart  
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I  
I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
And lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter

We've been...off speaking terms with each other for 2 months now. He ignores me... and even though it kills me, I ignore him right back. There's got to be something that he's not telling me...and there's definitely something that I'm not telling him.

" Shane." I said, cautiously approaching him.

" What?" He said coldly.

" Okay, maybe this was a bad time, I'll talk to you later."

" Wait," Shane sighed. " What do you want Britt?"

" Look...I just wanted to explain to you why I've been so...so...distant lately." I said.

" Okay, go ahead."

" Um...well I don't exactly know where to start..."

" From the beginning." Shane said.

" Right...well...I've had a really, really, big crush on you for about a year and a half now Shane...and I haven't found a way to tell you exactly how I feel about you. I've really wanted to...honestly I have...but I was just so afraid of how you would react to me...I just couldn't." I said.

" Why would you be scared of me?" Shane asked.

" Not of YOU. Of how you'd react...I thought you'd reject me...tell me you didn't like me or something." I said.

__

I put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
And for all this  
There's only one thing you should know  
I put my trust in you  
Pushed as far as I can go  
And for all this  
There's only one thing you should know  
I tried so hard  
And got so far  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter  
I had to fall  
And lose it all  
But in the end  
It doesn't even matter'  
  
" Well uh...Brittany...I'm so sorry to have to tell you this...but...I don't like you. Not the way you like me anyway. I think you're a great girl...and you're really sweet but I don't want a relationship with you. I'm sorry Britt babe...but we can still be friends...cool?"

" Yeah...cool." I stuttered, holding back tears.

" I'm so so sorry Brittany." Shane said hugging me.

" Don't worry about it..."

I trusted him with my feelings...I trusted him not to hurt me and he did! Everything I've tried to get his attention hasn't worked and now that I've finally told him all I get for my hard work is REJECTION! I hate it! I love Shane Helms so much...but he doesn't love me back. I've done so much...I can't understand why he wouldn't like me...I don't know! I can't...I can't comprehend what's wrong with me! Why doesn't he like me? After all that....it doesn't even matter...

THE END

A/n: Okay, for disclaimer purposes...I don't own anyone but Brittany. The song is "In the End" by Linkin Park and I don't own that. The only thing I own is Brittany (a.k.a. me which is my name) and the background for this story. It comes from personal experience w/ the guy I like (coincidently w/ the same name). It originally was to be a Jeff Hardy fic, but I figured since I have a real experience w/ this and oddly enough the dude's name is Shane it just made sense to make it a Shane Helms fic. This songfic is kind of a personal thing expressed through wrestling...not bad huh? R/R! SugarBaby_HardyGirl  



End file.
